Its been long i've visited here, relink (:

www.bentasic.blogspot.com

I want to be the sky...

I want to be vast and wide spread

so no matter where you are.

i can find you.

see you..

watch over you..

Sorry terrence for not replying you, making you and reyna worried..

Just i feel messed up... Lol... What ever reyna said. It make sense...

Alot of sense... I'm addicted to her song lol... Why is all her song so emo so nice -.-

Haiz... These few days... I kept asking myself... What do i want..

My answer? I don't know what i want...

I feel lost... My heart hurt... Why... When i'm just starting to open up my heart...

Someone has to break it... I wish... Someone would truly understand ... Untie this knot in my heart please?

I don't know which is true or which is fake... I feel like walking aimlessly around... Get bang by car...

I... Want to escape from reality... I want.... you...

But he has you...

And you chosen him...

I'm left out...

My heart has been thrown away...

Lol... Who wants a broken heart? I don't think anyone wants it...

I want to think properly again... Why is my head filled with those thoughts...

I want to go to the hospital again... I want... My life to be in danger...

At least.... When i'm going to die, i would pray that i would live...

I'm afraid of dying everytime i'm about to die. haha, coward right?

Yea..

I..... feel nothing...

Haha, at last, i know my fate.

Unlike everyone, i won't have a happy ending in my life. Never.

I want to forget how it feels to love someone.

I want to forget how it feels to miss someone.

I want to forget how it feels to love someone but can't have them...

Lol, Reyna, i like your blog song. (:

The chorus nice .. Lol..

Thinking... Maybe my past life sucked like hell.

Retribution for everything i've done.

Lol.

Cancer,

Family died on me,

Child abuse,

Countless accidents,

Heart breaking stories,

Countless blood loss,

Health problems,

(:

See, how cool. Everyday i look up into the sky, i tell myself.

"Benson, today will be better, make it better, suck it up. Make it better even if it hurts inside"

Actually... Play boy/hongster/ whatever you guys call me.

You don't know me at all...

Lol...

Actually, I didn't hong anyone before, I never really play with girls.

Believe? I know you don't.. The very first time girl i two time is Noel.

Ha. I never really know whats love in the first place ...

I don't know what i feel.

WHAT THE FUCK I AM?

what fuck i feel.

From small, no one taught me how to love... no one loved me...

Ha... I can't believe i'm what i am today.

God, what i do to you... what did i do to you?